Welcome to our Language of Recovery Series
In the wise words of Brene Brown, "Language is our gateway to understanding, connection, healing, learning, and self-awareness. Having access to the right words can open up entire universes." These words aptly encapsulate our journey into infidelity recovery. We encountered a rupture that hurled us into an unfamiliar, disorienting, and nightmarish reality. It was a bewildering period of time where the simple act of making sense of words became a colossal task. The more we delved into articles, blogs, and opinions on infidelity recovery, the more varied and conflicting they seemed. We were unable to comprehend the jargon and the multitude of perspectives on why affairs happen and how to recover from them.
Various sources confused us with divergent advice. Our pastor suggested reading Love and Respect as a solution, while a blog declared that a cheater will always be a cheater. A counselor suggested a change of residence for improvement while labeling us with terms such as borderline, sex addict, narcissist, and co-dependent. The internet was a double-edged sword - providing not clarity but a million different opinions on CSATs, addiction, recovery programs, polygraphs and treatment types. Some advised us to divorce, others encouraged staying together, some said we were helpless, while others claimed to have the guaranteed solution.
After six months of this chaotic confusion, we discovered Affair Recovery, a beacon that began to illuminate our path. Our discovery of Affair Recovery and a therapist who navigated us through our emotional and developmental struggles finally equipped us with the language and the framework to progress towards healing.
With this post, we're excited to commence a series on the language of recovery. Every culture and subculture has a unique language that aids in understanding ourselves better, seeing things from others' perspectives, empathizing with their feelings, and expanding our worldviews.
However, we must emphasize that mere knowledge and language do not bring about change. Real change requires a powerful trifecta - a genuine desire to change, an understanding of how to enact this change, and the will and energy to implement it. We believe that the right information and language act as a roadmap. Though the map won't drive you to your destination, it provides directions, making the journey smoother. Similarly, healing and recovery can feel like a never-ending cycle or a state of stagnation if we lack direction. Acquiring the right language and directions is invaluable, but one must be motivated to seek a different destination and make a change.
In our journey, the desire to change was present, but we lacked an accurate map, despite our hard work. The real breakthrough occurred when our desire to change coincided with obtaining the right guidance, language, and map. With the help of books like Brene Brown's Atlas of the Heart or Elle Grant's Encyclopedia for the Betrayed, we have been able to deepen our understanding of the language of recovery.
Through this platform at Affair Recovery, we aim to facilitate understanding of the language of recovery from infidelity for both the betrayed and the wayward. We welcome any specific requests about terms, thoughts, or recovery concepts. Please drop us an email, and we would be thrilled to create something valuable and helpful for your recovery journey.
-Job & Julie Lopez
